Part 2 .. Enduring memories of my mother are forever etched in my heart Understandably, at this moment, I am going through mixed emotions - of unbearable loss and pain eversince Amma passed; those feelings of inadequacy because of lost opportunities and of not doing more for my mother; those feelings also of immense gratitude for all the sacrifices Amma made for us and for the love she poured on us: also pride for her generosity to her children that never ceased even after we'd grown up; that extended to friends, relatives and people in need. I can't forget the time she gifted the palatial house her father built to me when I married. Feelings of deep sadness also overcome me when I think of what she endured having lost her father, Kasipathipillai Ponnusamy at 9 years, who adored her she used to always say, her early marriage and the difficulties she suffered. I remember the tough times Amma went through bringing us up, her children, four boys and two girls – Manu, Mohan, Mathan, Mayan, myself and Uttarai; and losing her 6th child, my baby brother, Mani, at infancy due to a congenital heart defect; I remember her anguish over the health and education of us, her children, and to see us do well; I feel deeply when I think of her own personal life and my father dying with her by his side - there was no denying she was in part behind my father's career successes - and my brothers would say she was behind their's